Do You Run or Are You a Runner?

I began this morning hesitant to get up because I was nervous about having to run 9 miles today. Only one other time in my life have I ran this distance. As I prepared myself for the inevitable, I ate breakfast, doddled about and then finally stretched and headed out. 

I didn't think I was feeling it this morning

I like to play games with myself when I run. Sometimes I don't allow myself music until a big hill so the music can help push me up the then-feeling Mt. Everest. Sometimes I won't put music on until I'm half way through my distance, etc. It's a way of rewarding myself on the run and to break up the time and distance a little bit. 

It's amazing how a small hill can feel like a mountain

As reluctant as I was to get out there this morning, I was surprisingly feeling great at mile four. My body had warmed up and I'd hit a decent stride. My breathing felt smooth and the pace I was going at felt natural. Low and behold, I was enjoying myself. WTF?! Could this be?

I kept running, thinking FOR SURE, by mile 6 (maybe 7) I would regret that thought and start moving slower, breathing heavier and looking like death to the passerby driving along my route. But it never came. I felt victorious. I felt free. How could this be?

Really?! Really?!

I have written over the year about whether I could be considered a runner or not. I googled a few times what the definition of a runner was and always felt the description felt short:

run·ner/ˈrənər/

Noun:

A person who runs, esp. in a specified way: "a fast runner". A person who runs competitively as a sport or hobby A person, animal, or thing that runs, especially as a racer.

At one point, I thought, surely, I must be a runner if someone else calls me one, right? I waited anxiously for months for someone to call me a runner and when my Executive Director at work sent me an email a few months back with a link and said "since you are a runner now, I thought you'd enjoy this" I was elated and then instantly deflated because it didn't resonate with me. 

Back to the run: I get to a hill along the route, and I push myself to run faster up it...the faster I go, the more I make this hill my b*tch and the faster I can feel proud for getting over the hurdle. I smile at the top because I know I am a bad ass in my own right at this moment. And I feel good because that 'Mount Everest' ended up being less than the first pit stop towards the summit :) 

It was at this moment of thought that it finally hit me. I AM a runner. A legitimate runner who doesn't do a run because they have to get cardio in and running is the most effective way to burn calories outside of swimming laps, etc., but a person that enjoyed running and wanted to keep doing so. 

I reflected on what I have learned and experienced since I started running and began devising a list as I finished out the 9 miles on what makes one a runner in my book. 

Here it is à la Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a runner if:

1. The treadmill and your knees have become arch enemies
2. You look pale after a run not because you are exhausted, but because you have layers upon layers of salt crystals covering your face
3. You no longer look forward to crosswalks because now you have to stop and take a break
4. Miles fly by as fast as your brain can process a complete thought
5. You have an ‘injury of the week’ and wonder ‘what’s it going to be this Saturday?’, yet still get up and run again
6. The treadmill has become that awkward friend that you try at all costs to avoid but still have to see every once in awhile when your other friends (trails, sidewalks, roads) are busy getting snowed on
7. You laugh when people say they are sore
8. You’ve ashamedly poo’ed in more places during a run in a fit of panic and pray that there won’t be a ‘next time’ and that if there is you’ll be just as lucky not to get caught
9. You can run upright and not crooked forward trying to get farther faster so you’ll be finished sooner
10. Tying your shoe correctly has come down to a science
11. Your significant other only sees you in gym clothes and your perfume has become whatever deodorant you are wearing
12. Your boogers immediately liquefy after mile 1 and you have to continually blow your nose “boy scout style” the remaining duration of the run
13. Your camel back is more stylish and important to you than your new Coach bag
14. You have tried more than one home remedy for the chafing of the fat between your legs
15. You know you have to wear a good sports bra prior to and during menstruation because somehow your boobs manage to weigh an extra 5 lbs each
16. Male runners talk to you about nipple chafing with their t-shirts and envy your sports bra
17. Your shoes are worn out because of all the miles you've ran, even though they still look perfect & brand new 
18. Your short runs have become the average person’s long runs
19. A hot tub has become a necessity instead of an excuse to drink w/ friends
20. You look at your version of Mt. Everest, pick up your pace, stomp that sonofabitch and smile leaving your sweat and fears back on the pavement

I must admit that thinking of this honest list the last couple of miles made them slip right by AND caught me in a giggle fit at one point and a few blushing moments in the next. 

So, the question is, do you run for the sake of accomplishing another goal or are you a RUNNER too!? See you next week!

Love w/ all my bum,

CH

Week 45: I Feel Alive!

      In this journey, I'll let my emotions be my roller coaster, not my diet. 

    Last week, I was a bit upset that I had logged all these miles and then GAINED three pounds. I tried not to let it get to me and just move along with my workout for the day and it helped. Hey, if you aren't dropping the weight, go to the gym, right?  Needless to say, I was pretty darned nervous stepping on the scale this morning. It was a strange nervousness because I had gotten so much encouragement this week from bum followers and gym members that I regained confidence and wanted desperately for it to show in my numbers for the week. 

      Some weeks, you lose nothing, you gain some and you lose some. Your numbers might not reflect the way you feel in that cute outfit you haven't fit into all year. I wake up and immediately hit the scale. I wait anxiously for good news on a job well done or bad news. It's an emotional Russian Roulette when it comes to how I am going to feel about my weigh-in every Thursday. 

Will I let my emotions kill my goals?

I can be disappointed, sad, or even angered. I sometimes feel like I let my readers, coach, and myself down when I haven't lost weight. Other times, I feel empowered and do a naked, happy dance in my bathroom and sing to myself in the mirror that I used to avoid at all costs! 

    The point is, that regardless of my emotions after I see the numbers, I somehow talk myself into keeping it up, finishing strong and to BRING IT ON! I know we have all felt like blah and want to then melt into the couch or comfort ourselves with food. But a habit does not stick if you revert back to your old habits, now does it? And if this is going to be a lifestyle change, ALL of my habits have to be healthy and a positive step towards my goals. So although I allow myself to have free emotions and thoughts about my weigh-in each week, I do not let that invade the rest of the week and especially not my diet. Why have two bad weigh-ins in a row because the 1st one wasn't so great?

  Today, I prove that point. Had I pitied myself all week and allowed my emotions to rule my diet, I would have not been able to bounce back from last week and shed a few more pounds than expected! That's right, 5 . 2 pounds of fat lost this week! Not bad I say! And it feels great to not let the emotional roulette kill my goals. I feel alive!

It's gross, but this is 5 lbs of fat!

   

Here’s the breakdown for week 45:

Weight Today: 165 (down 5.2 lbs from last week! and 42.8 lbs overall)

Percent of Body Fat: 36.5%(-7.8% overall)

BMI: 27.1 (-2.9 points overall)

Water Weight: 46.3% (up 6.3% overall)

Weeks to Meet Goal: 30 (15 weeks ahead of schedule)

   I think in life, we often let our emotions do the talking. But the onus is on us to permit us to feel what we need to feel and then harness those feelings (both good and bad) and cultivate it into something to help motivate us to do, lift, and run MORE. Sure, our emotions can talk, but it is our responsibility to take the bad and use it as a tool to motivate us and turn it into positive results later. And when we are feeling great, we cannot rest on our laurels that week and sit back; we must push ourselves that much harder the next week to ensure we have even greater results in the long run. We deserve to kick our own bums every week, to sweat it all out, to leave every emotion on the pavement behind our gait, and to push out any self-doubt or pain with the reps we push out. 

     Because after all, we deserve the best. We deserve a healthy life. We deserve to feel hot. We deserve to look amazing. Your self-worth can only increase when you take care of yourself and challenge yourself to succeed, even when others, and sometimes yourself, might doubt it. 

     Looking to next week, I will be logging more miles, eating as fit as I can, and taking names :) Like I said earlier, I'll let my emotions have the roller coaster ride, but I will not let my healthy eating habits yo-yo back and forth.

Love w/ all my bum,

CH

Picture Day Again

As promised, another round of pictures to share with my readers. Although I currently hate picture day, it's a good check and balance to keep me focused on how far I have come and where I want to be. My TNT coach told me that I should take weekly photos and although I will do that, I'll try to post them here once a month so you aren't inundated with too many photos that look similar and don't show significant changes. 

And here they are for week 45:

Before:

Week 45:

It's nice to see my chin as only one chin instead of two, that's for sure. I think having any definition in the face is going to make a difference. I believe that people notice your face in terms of weight before anything else, especially when they see you almost everyday. 

Before:

Week 45:

My stomach is still a huge concern for me, but looking at the before picture proves I have definitely slimmed down, even if it's not as much as I would have liked to be this far along in the journey. The most I can note about the before and current picture is my legs. Look how far apart I put my legs in the 1st image, and note how much my thighs are touching. Then look at the distance between my legs in the current photo. Yes, my thighs still touch, but not near as much as before and within a shorter distance. Now, if only I could reduce ALL chafing while running! Ha, ha. 

Before:

Week 45:

Again, you can see the difference in my chin. Thank god for skin's elasticity And my stomach in the before pictures, yea, glad about half of that is gone!

Before:

Week 45:

This backside shot is where I notice the most changes in my body (sadly, I cannot walk backwards all day)! Check out my bum-it actually IS smaller! And it appears in the current photo that I actually have a bum, instead of extra fat stretching to find a home somewhere. Also, check out my back rolls from the before shot....WOOOOOOF! Clothes can only hide so much, right?! So glad I don't have to hide my back anymore. No rolls in sight in the current picture. Hallelujah! Dost thou see the curve I now have under my rib cage?? Ah, I cannot wait for this spot to be more! 

So there they are in all their glory: my most vulnerable and embarrassing shots. But hey, nothing like the world seeing you at your worst to give you motivation to never return again. Now the question will be, what to do with the before shots AFTER I reach my goal? I saved my largest pair of jeans as well. What do you do with that stuff? Have a funeral for your fat? Burn it literally to show that you have burned all those calories? Do I frame the photos and a piece of the pant?? Weigh in, everyone!

Talk to you all again in my later installment this week.

Love w/ all my bum,

CH

Spring and the End of a 40 Day Challenge

Greetings!

This week overall was a good week. I plugged in 26 total miles of running in order to follow my training for the half-marathon and completed my 40 day challenge of not eating out. Naturally, my husband wanted to celebrate by going out to eat-LOL. Men, I tell ya. I obliged by telling him we could celebrate with Subway. What a good compromise that was! Easter can be another food pitfall but I am happy to share my meal with you. I was pretty proud that it wasn't a gorge fest and rich with protein, fruits & veggies:

Naturally, with all the running I have been doing, I thought that I was destined to have dropped some major weight this week. WRONG. I GAINED three flippin' pounds! I was so disappointed that I cried a little and felt super discouraged this morning. But, I got up, put my big girl panties on and hit the gym. I am determined to have a funeral for my fat whether it likes it or not!

My TNT coach could sense my frustration and pow-wow'd with me offering words of encouragement after my workout. If I feel like I accomplished something, then I did accomplish something and prior to that weigh in this morning, I thought that I was golden. I am one to lean more towards the guilty conscious about things (I immediately thought about some of the treats I allowed myself to have this week and how I maybe could have pushed harder during a run) but that isn't necessarily a good thing now is it? Then my bestie, Jen, put it into a fresh perspective. I ran 26 miles this week. A year ago, I wasn't running anything. And a few months after that, I was happy to finish a single mile. What seems like a no biggie this week would have been monumental and insurmountable to me last year.

Amazing how the impossible becomes possible. Sometimes I am so caught up with the next step that I forget about what I am doing at present to change my life for the better 'now' that will eventually make my 'future' that much more rewarding.

Breakdown for this week:

This Week:

Weight: 170.2

Percent of Body Fat: 36.9%

BMI: 28

Water Weight: 46%

Weeks to Meet Goal: 35

  Beginning Breakdown:

Weight Day One: 207.8

Percent of Body Fat: 44.3%

BMI: 34.2

Water Weight: 40.6%

Weeks to Meet Goal: 73

  

When I look at my mini-goals in my first photo's and at the beginning of this blog, my goals during this process of getting to 135 lbs was:

Mini-goals along the way

a.       To run a mile without slowing down

b.      To run a 5k, 8k, 10k

 

Wow! I remember these goals being very big for me. To run a mile without having to stop seemed like a mountain I was going to have to climb and now I can run for miles without having to do intervals. I mean, I ran a 10K as part of my training last Saturday and that wasn't even a long run for me! I guess Jen was right. I need to be proud of how far I have come even if this week's weigh-in stunk. With the renewed perspective my supporters gave me, I am ready to kick some butt and take some names...well, at least kick some butt so I can make this bum smaller!

Love w/ all my bum,

CH

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. I need to take some more pictures in my dreaded bikini-but will post them later this week! Stay tuned.

Back to VA and What Can I Say?!

Hey bumdiggities!

I am back from San Francisco and boy does it feel good to be home. As a native Californian, I do concur with my comrades that northern Cali has such a different persona than SoCal and let's just say, I'll always prefer the latter.

Business trips = eating nightmare. If you think being 'good' healthwise is difficult on a vacation, it pails in comparison to mandated food for business trips. At least on vacation, your freedom of choice is involved and it's more of a personal decision to not order the pina colada every meal. A business trip, on the other hand, does not allow one to order whatever it is they want. Between receptions filled with cheese platters, wine, and breads and lunches that look worse than cafeteria food, I was in a rut. I basically didn't eat when I should and gorged on the healthy bits whenever they were around. Special K bars became my good friend and even those grossed me out because they are so sweet. As I sit here, typing and eating a frozen banana, I am struck by how much I missed being in my routine and on my own path to health. Health really is a choice and I still can't believe how much I used to not even think of it. If there was a reception, I was eating and having some free drinks. Whatever was served was what I ate and forget about portion control. In 9 months, my mind has really changed.

9 months ago, I was definitely a couch potato and a lazy person. I ate because of boredom and avoided those mirrors (too bad couches don't have mirrors). My husband and I frequently went out to eat, ordered dinner, or did a variation of a TV dinner or quick fix every night. We were both snackers. With the exception of this business trip b/c I didn't have a kitchen to cook my own food, I have not gone to a single restaurant. I have not had one piece of fried anything in over a month. Best part is, I don't miss it. Like I posted before my business trip, I do miss a sub sandwich prepared for me when I simply am not up for cooking, but all in all, I'd say that I am A-ok. The point I'm getting at is that so many things can change in a day, a week, shoot-even when you make up your mind to do something. In these past nine months, I truly believe I approach food, meals, and health in a completely different way. I am better for it. I am healthier for it and so is my husband. 9 months ago, if I had made a cauliflower crust pizza (I changed the toppings up a bit and although it says use only half a cauliflower head, use the whole thing (it was just barely enough for two and I would have LOVED leftovers). Also, make the crust a little bit thicker than suggested:http://www.recipegirl.com/2012/01/16/cauliflower-crust-hawaiian-pizza/) my husband would've thought it was disgusting, not eaten it or eaten it along side of a packet of Top Ramen. But yesterday, he ate it, asked for seconds and then asked when I would be making it again. When you change your mind, you change your life and the lives of those around you.

I read an article a few months ago about people having addictive tendencies by nature. The premise towards weight loss is the same as obesity. Some research suggests that your social circle has a lot to deal with how you approach your food. If you have a group of friends that like to go out to eat all the time or go bar hopping, it almost feels impossible to maintain that social circle when you are trying to cut those parts out of your life. Fear not, your friends are more adept to change than you realize. Like a contagion, healthy choices in your life can also 'infect' the way your friends view health. For example, I've been posting motivational quotes on my page for a few months now. They help me stay positive and motivated to keep at it; a side effect to this is that I have more friends posting on my wall about health or sending me messages about their journey as well. I frequently see posts about people using Map My Run to log a run on FB or share recipes that don't include chocolate covered X, Y, Z. I've even received a text message from a person I haven't spoken to in years thanking me for the inspiration to get fit. They said they felt guilty checking their Facebook page all day long, seeing mine and my friends posts and then not doing anything. It was incredible feedback and made me believe the premise that healthy choices can be addictive to your social circle.

This is not to say that some friends will be adamant about not changing. To each their own. I would recommend you encouraging that friend to just meet up to take a walk or ask to go shopping so that you at least get a lap around the mall in. You might find that the friendship changes a bit because while you are gaining self confidence, a fresh perspective on life, etc. while your friend is still couch potato'ing and eating out. In that sense, your successes may remind them of their failure. If you are open and honest and true friends, you'll be able to nip that in the bud. Just remember, overall, that you are doing this journey for YOU. It is not so your friends will change even though they might jump on the journey with you and become an EXCELLENT support system & activity sharer along the way. You can lead a sloth to water, but you can't make him workout with you and see they live a sedentary life if they don't want to change. :)

When I first began the blog, I remember saying I was doing this for myself and if I got one person to get off that couch, I would feel successful. I do feel successful. I feel like I am no longer alone, even if I still am alone putting in those miles on the trails w/ an iPod as my company. Back in October, I said I felt embarrassed by people commenting on how much weight I lost and that I felt like they all began 'monitoring my progress' and it made me feel like I was under a microscope. Now, when people mention my weight loss and ask what I am doing, I say "I am eating healthy, not dieting, and oh you should join me for a run, or gym class sometime." I now realize that some people comment on the changes to my body because they want to do the same for themselves. I now give them a front and center opportunity to do it. It's up to them to act on it and although a lot of these people are notorious "shoulders," I do have one friend who up and joined my gym and is now training with me to do that half-marathon in June. Who'd a thunk it?! See, I infected her with the health bug and now our friendship is growing and stronger because we can do more activities together that both fit with the lifestyle we want for ourselves. Research confirmed. :)

Ok, ok, ok. So down to the big question: how much weight did I gain on my business trip? The answer below:

So here’s the breakdown:

Weight Today: 167.6

Percent of Body Fat: 37.2%

BMI: 27.5

Water Weight: 45.8%

Weeks to Meet Goal: 33

Beginning Breakdown:

Weight Day One: 207.8

Percent of Body Fat: 44.3%

BMI: 34.2

Water Weight: 40.6%

Caloric Intake Should Be: 2127 cal/day

Weeks to Meet Goal: 73

The answer is ZERO. I did not gain any weight and in fact, managed to lose a little bit. Of course, I have been working my bum off this week to bounce back from the business trip, but I am already back on the saddle and making good decisions. I am confident that the more I run, the more I will lose. The more healthy I eat, the more tools my body has to fight off my fatty cells and boost my metabolism. I feel mentally stronger than I have in the last few months and I actually attribute it to the eye-opening experience I had in San Francisco because I was taken away from my healthy routine and hated it. Others would have seen it as a 'break' and excused themselves from their healthy ways. But I couldn't stand not having something healthy to eat.

Looking to next week, I will be deep in the trenches of half-marathon training and weight training classes. It used to freak me out; now, I cannot wait!

Love w/ all my bum,
CH