"Good grief," said Charlie Brown.
When anything not so great happens to you, man oh man is it not THE EASIEST thing to feel sorry for yourself, become a bump on a log and melt into a couch like a child with the flu?!
Back story: I ran a short 3 . 5 miler on Monday and during the last half mile I felt a pain in my foot. It wasn't like I tripped or rolled my ankle so I figured it was my foot cramping up and kept running. I got home, rubbed all over it and felt nothing. When I applied pressure, however, it was still achy and tense on the outside of my foot. "Shoot!" I thought, "Better stay off of it for a couple days." The next day came and went and it hurt continuously when I applied pressure but when I touched it, no sensitivity came anywhere. So random.
I had a doctor's appointment this morning (just to be sure everything is ok) and would you know that it's likely, but not confirmed, a stress fracture. The x-rays could not see it and I have to go back next week to see if there is calcification near the bone (this would indicate a healing process).
Ok-so here's my initial thoughts and reactions after the doc gave me goodies and sent me packing:
1. Ugly, unattractive, orthopedic shoe = sexiest shoe ever to wear in public (NOT)!
2. Ace wrap to go along with it and make my toes look like colorful sausages saying hello
3. No training for a week...WAIT. Hold the effin phone here! You mean, I cannot run 10 miles this weekend along the shores of Ocean City? Are you kidding me?!
4. Am I really THAT fat that the weight on my foot caused a break?
5. Tears ensue
6. I rush home feeling sorry for myself and immediately put on snuggly pjs to 'feel better'
I personally believe that we all enjoy Charlie Brown and Eeyore because we ALL have moments where we just need to be negative, feel sorry for ourselves, and be a poop. I had my moment and it's been coming and going in stages for the better half of the morning. My friend, Anna, called and after awhile of talking, I told her my story. Do you ever get the feeling that you are overreacting when you tell someone a story and as soon as it leaves your lips you feel stupid?! Yep, that's me.
Anna reminded me of an article I read last week. I'll give you her gist and then relay the article's. She said that although I use races as milestones for progress, I did not set out on this journey to become a runner (even if I ended up turning into one in this process). My journey is dedicated to changing permanently to a healthy lifestyle and I am doing that. I can still do that, even with a stress fracture. She relayed that she knew I wasn't going to give that part up (she knows me too well) and said I'd find a way to bike or swim to keep in shape w/o having to put pressure on my foot.
The article, found on ZoomaRun.com, was about reflecting on the journey that led one to the night before a race. Naturally, it's difficult to fall asleep that night and jitters are part of the deal. But this article reminds you to think of how far you've come to even have the ability and endurance to run the race. There were times I ran in rain, the dark, heat, freezing temps, upset stomach, traffic, etc. There were times that I backed out of Friday night plans in anticipation and preparation for a longer Saturday run. And as I scan the article again for that extra boost of confidence, I come across my favorite passage:
"Remember that the race is simply a victory lap. Even though you’re primed for great things on race day, there’s always a chance something will go wrong. If it does, remember that you’ve already won."
This speaks volumes to me. It does so because I imagine the majority of people, including non-racers, see the race as the big day. I was guilty of it too, that is, until I read this article. However, an Olympian not only gets credit for earning a medal, but to even gain the status of Olympian is just as important as the gold. I'm not shooting for winning the 1/2 marathon, we know that, but I do already know that I could do it if, for some reason, my foot does not allow me to run it June 2nd. My mental strength is at an all-time high and that is a feat in and of itself.
Although my little self doubt monster wants to be a grump all day, my hard work and determination throughout this entire journey deserves more respect than letting this blimp on the radar be anything more than just a hiccup.
There are times when being negative is just too easy. If it's too easy, I think you need to change your perspective. Some people are finding out they have cancer today, or lost a loved one, or cannot get pregnant. Those days are the days to be Eeyore and Charlie Brown.
You have to give it to Eeyore and Charlie Brown. I mean, Eeyore lives in a stick tent that doesn't protect him from any weather conditions and always falls apart. Plus, he's always losing a part of his body! Yet, he's happy that anyone simply acknowledges his existence from time to time and keeps re-building his home. And Charlie Brown, bless him, NEVER gives up. Put that challenging football in front of him and he's going to try to kick it. Even though 75% of the time they are characterized classically as ho-hum and depressing personalities, I admire both of these fictional character's determination and perseverance.
With some fresh perspective, a decent article and an understanding support system, it's easy to see that today is far better than other's EVEN with the hiccup. Anna & the article were right and I'll be headed to the gym this afternoon for some crazy spinning!
That said, I welcome ALL prayers or positive energy or good juju (whatever you believe) for a speedy recovery so I can kick this 13 point freakin' 1 miles BUTT in June!
Love w/ ALL my bum,
CH
Oh and p.s. I lost 4 lbs this week. Take THAT fatty pants!
No comments:
Post a Comment